How to Get Your Ex Boyfriend Back
Your relationship with a special guy has come and gone, but now you want him back. He might resist, but it is be possible to make him love you even more than the last time you were together. It just might be the best risk you’ll ever take!
- Consider why you two broke up in the first place. Do you just want him back just because you can’t accept the idea that he does not want you? Or maybe you just like the idea of having a boyfriend? Or you really do like him? Were you (or both of you) abusive, controlling, mean, or possessive? Did one (or both) cheat? If any of these things happened, you’ll want to think long and hard about going back to that kind of relationship, but if you do still want him back, try the following steps.
- Be the person he fell in love with. He was attracted to you because he felt good with you, and you were fulfilling his emotional needs. How have you changed? Correct bad habits and mistakes, if any. Be positive around him. Laugh and smile. Always stay positive to feel good about yourself and make friends around you feel good because of you.
- Don’t even look like you’re stuck in the past. Let him know you’re moving on by going to the library class, your locker, and the gym, wearing clothes different from what you normally would. This will definitely make him think you are moving on with your life.
- Prepare your first words. The first thing that you say to your ex boyfriend is extremely important. If you say the wrong words, you will lose the chance to get your ex boyfriend back. Do not react to his request for a breakup by crying and begging him to come back. This will not work. You are just going to make him feel more irritated with you and drive him further away. You need to understand that even though he initiates the breakup, there is a good chance that he still harbors good feelings for you.
- Use the past to your advantage. If he complimented a particular outfit, wear it again. Or, share a lighthearted memory with him. If you have a chance to meet him, do it in a familiar place you used to enjoy good times together.
- Listen carefully to his choice of words. He may say something unusual. If he ever uses an unusual or uncommon word, use it also in your conversations. This subconsciously tells him that he and you have a common way of talking.
- Find out if your ex still cares. Before you start doing anything to try and win him back, you need to know for sure that he still cares. If he no longer cares, and you are still desperate to get him back, then you need to think of the subtlest ways to get him start to care again, even just a little. Knowing that your ex still cares about you is the most important sign that things can still be mended. You should not start on anything before you are sure that your ex still has some amount of concern when it comes to you.
- Casually ask if he’d like to do something non-committal, like having a drink with friends, playing miniature golf, playing tennis, etc. Something friends or first dates can do. And whatever it is, keep it fun. Leave out the serious talks for the time being. You’ll have plenty of time to talk about that later. That is very intimidating to a lot of guys. However, if he initiates it, follow his lead. But don’t go heavy.
- Let him know you have been thinking about him. Remind him of that one time the two of you went to dinner at that great new restaurant and had a fabulous time? Leave him a short email telling him you ate there recently and thought of him. And, by the way, ask how he is doing. This is a non-threatening way to have a light conversation, which would not make him uncomfortable.
- Invite him to talk to you. Express regret that things didn’t work out between the two of you. Ask him if you can talk about it now that you have some perspective.
- Pay some attention to your appearance if you have been neglecting yourself in that department. Get your nails and hair done. Take a nice warm bubble bath, and pick out a nice outfit.
- Stop caring about how people perceive you. The fact is, it really doesn’t matter. It’s impossible to be yourself when you’re caught up in wondering “Do they think I’m funny? Does she think I’m fat? Do they think I’m stupid?” To be yourself, you’ve got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter –—not their consideration of you.
- If you just broke up (less than a couple of weeks) completely ignore him. He will call you if he still likes you. If he doesn’t, then nothing you say or do will change that. (This works unless you are dealing with a guy who thinks that if you don’t care enough to try to save the relationship. Sometimes, ignoring him makes him feel that you are perfectly fine without him and are moving on, which is the exact opposite of what you want when you are trying to get back with your man. Be sure you know exactly what type of guy you are dealing with when trying to get him back.)
- Remember, no situation is hopeless. Every day, couples get back together regardless of the situation.
- Find other things to focus on. If you focus your attention on a new activity, you will have less time to miss your ex-boyfriend. You will feel stronger and more in control of your life. If you are still in contact, your ex boyfriend will notice that you have “moved on” and hopefully will start having second thoughts.
Test Your Knowledge
- Be honest with him and yourself. Just be casual and allow him to initiate asking you the serious questions first.
- Let him know that you’ll always be there for him.
- Learn to be his best friend, remember a relationship means nothing without a solid foundation .
- Do not call or text him all the time. This will give him the impression that you’re desperate. If you don’t contact him, this will let him think that you’re moving on and he needs to win you over if he wants you back. Remember if he wants to talk, he will call you.
- Don’t stalk him. Let him have some time with his family or friends. If he still wants to be friends, let him have the time to remember that he misses you. TEXT him once, if he doesn’t reply then leave him alone.
- Dont look desperate, or make it seem like he is your second choice.
- Let him take his time, guys are complicated at times they don’t know what they want. Don’t try too hard if you know he’s not into you, you will just waste your time!
- Don’t do anything that you know he wouldn’t like just to get his attention. This will only push him further away.
- Cry your heart out if you feel the need, but never tell him that’s what you’re doing.
- Don’t be too invading, give him some space.
- Always smile every time you run into each other, so that he will know you still like him.
- Avoid flirting with his friends, it will push him away even more.
- Act like you have nothing to do with him and that you were never dating in the first place, and don’t look desperate.
- If you have something to say, say it from the heart because it will mean more to him.
- Don’t get clingy. Don’t keep trying to call or text him. Make sure he knows that you want to talk, but then back off. Let him come to you. If he doesn’t, move on because he’s gone.
- If he still likes another girl give him some space. Remember, you are not dating, so don’t be jealous of other girls.
- If it has been more than two weeks since you broke up and he steals glances at you, it might mean he still likes you.
- Have a schedule. Men like women who follow an agenda. It shows that they have other important things going on.
- If and when you and your ex decide to meet up, remember your appearance is important. Be the woman he fell for in the beginning. You don’t want him to think you have let yourself go since the breakup.
- Act casual. Try not to get all excited when you see him.
- Give each other some space after the breakup, to decide if this is really what you want.
- Don’t bribe him to come back by making him jealous or kissing him to get him to like you again.
- When you talk, talk about things he likes. It shows that you’re interested in smaller things and he might like that. Try not to talk about yourself too much either; keep the focus on him.
- Don’t ask deep personal questions, it might make him uncomfortable, since you recently separated and are at an awkward phase in your relationship.
- Apologize for your faults in the past, or any broken promises, and talk things out.
- Never act all flirty with him when you’ve just broken up. Give him some time (like two weeks) to think about what he wants to do.
- Be subtle; you don’t want to look desperate.
- If he has a new girlfriend, understand the fact that he has moved on from you.
- Ask him about his family and friends, or his pet. It will make him think you still care for him and his life.
- If he tells you to leave him alone, leave him alone. Try to make as little contact with him as possible. Act like it doesn’t bother you.
- If he talks about the good times he had with his ex-es in front of you it simply means he does not feel for you and does not care about your feelings.
- Don’t ever come on too strong, like giving him flirtatious looks. A smile will be fine at first.
- If he has been in another relationship since you two broke up, don’t try to copy his ex-girlfriend, but see what it is that made him like her so much. Was it her confidence? Her beautiful eyes? Think of what she had that you’re lacking, and try to work on that.
- To err is human. It’s okay if you are the guilty one this time. You’ll need to forgive yourself for your part in the breakup, then move forward to seek his forgiveness.
- Try hanging out with common friends so he knows you’re there.
- If he broke up with you for someone else, then talk to him about it. Try asking him something like, “Do we still like each other? Will we ever be together again?”
- Never get jealous if your ex-boyfriend is with one of your best friends.
- Don’t take him back if he left you for another girl, or left another girl for you. This just proves he can’t make up his mind and isn’t ready for a relationship.
- If he tries to cheat on his current girlfriend with you, turn away. If he’s cheating on her now, he will cheat on you if you stay together. Just be friends and call it a day. Just be super nice and say no.
- Some Get Your Ex Back coaches are free for the first thirty minutes, some are not. When you Google “get your ex back” coach, you can find the ones who give free consultation.
- If he starts talking to you less/differently because you won’t do something that he wants(sex, drugs etc.,) dont bother keeping him around. He is just using you to have a good time.
- If you start winning him back, make sure you examine what went wrong the first time around and work on that problem or you will end up back at square one.
- Don’t go after your ex if he’s married. It will only cause more hurt on your side.
- If you have broken up more than 5 times, then there’s something wrong with the relationship that needs to be fixed before you two get back together. Getting in little fights and ending the relationship is completely different. Everyone fights sometimes, no one’s perfect.
- Know when to let go. It can be the difference between getting the person back or having them walk away forever.
- Don’t get your hopes up too high on this. There is a chance that he will not take you back.
Article provided by wikiHow